Ice Cold
by xFadingMoonx
Summary: OneShot It's winter in Konoha. Everyone is enjoying the warmth of their homes. Except for the pinkhaired girl who just wanted to die.


**Disclaimer - I do not own Naruto of any or the characters, I do own the plot.**

'...' Thinking

"..." Speaking

**Song** - Missing

**Band** - Evanescence

* * *

**Ice Cold**

**By xFadingMoonx**

He died.

Because she wasn't strong enough.

He died.

Because she wasn't brave enough.

He died.

Because she could go on living.

* * *

"Sakura?"

The pink-haired kunoichi didn't even bother to turn round and face her master, instead she made a small noise that sounded like "Mmph."

The female hokage was now far used to her student's anti-social behaviour to even roll her eyes, she placed a firm manicured hand on Sakura's back and gently guided her into her office. She left the girl standing glumly in the shadows and kicked her shoes off at her chair. Rubbing her tired feet, she surveyed the girl with a steady eye.

Sakura Haruno up until a few weeks ago, was just a happy normal 17 year old. She did normal things like girly sleepovers with Hinata, Ino and Tenten. Went out partying on Saturday nights, then kick back indoors with Naruto and a stack of DVD's on Sundays, like any human being. _However, _that _was _just up until a few weeks ago.

Tsunade breathed in heavily, the smell of sake and the musty books stacked in a pile beside her, filling her nose,

"Sakura," she began, choosing her words carefully. "I understand, ok? You're going through a rough patch at the moment – I _get _that. But it's not really a valid excuse to not talk to anybody," she paused, half-heartedly expecting a response, but receiving just a blank stare. "You're locking yourself up in your room in the dark, you hardly go out, you don't even show up for work half the time and when you do, your are either completely knackered or at least 4 hours late!"

"I'm fine, Tsunade." Replied the girl in a monotone voice.

The old woman twitched slightly at the absence of _–sama_. She chose however to let it slide – a rare thing – and put it down to the girl's deep depression.

"Sakura," she said. "What's going on with you? His death couldn't have affected you that much could it? You weren't even all that close to him… I'm sad, but you don't see me doing what you're doing now-.."

"I'm going home." Sakura interrupted, already turning and walking toward the office door. Tsunade shot up and stuck her arm out in front of the door,

"I'm saying this from my heart… _Don't _do anything stupid, Sakura." She withdrew her arm and let the girl exit and slam the door hard behind her. Tsunade sighed and leaned on the window behind her, she stared out into the cold, winter's night.

"It might snow," she whispered.

Sakura shivered and pulled her black fur coat closer to her body, trying to soak up more warmth.

The weather had recently taken a change for the worst. It went from hot and sunny, to cold and bleak. And since then, most have the streets have been deserted as most of the townsfolk had taken up refuge in their own homes.

"Why the hell did I even go to work today," she muttered to herself. "Stupid Tsunade – trying to understand the way I feel…"

Sakura wanted more than anything to be back inside, wrapped up in her quilt and drinking some or her mother's divine hot chocolate. Just thinking about it made her mouth water. Naruto used to like it a lot on one of their Sundays too.

_Used _to.

But instead here she was.

'I'm an idiot,' was all her mind kept repeating. 'No sane person would ever be out here… But then again, I'm not entirely sane am I?'

She felt the cold stab of the wind as it started to pick up. Icy white snowflakes began to fall out of the sky.

'Why don't I just throw my coat off now? Why don't I just take off all my clothes and enjoy my slow painful death… It doesn't matter anyway… No one would care… Not anymore.'

She stopped walking. A tear crept down her face. She could almost feel it change into an icicle. Hands shaking, she slowly undid the marble silver buttons and let her only source of warmth slide from her shoulders and rest on the snow-covered ground.

_**Please, please forgive me,  
But I won't be home again.  
Maybe someday you'll have woke up,  
And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:  
"isn't something missing? "**_

"Is this what you want?" Sakura clenched her fists and glared up at the gray sky. "Why did you leave me Naruto? Why… Do I feel empty?"  
She fell into silence once more. For now, the silent snowflakes falling, was the music that she'd have to live with.

_**You won't cry for my absence, I know -  
You forgot me long ago.  
Am I that unimportant...?  
Am I so insignificant...?  
Isn't something missing?  
Isn't someone missing me?**_

"DON'T YOU DARE TRY AND GET INVOLVED TSUANDE!" She suddenly felt herself scream. "YOU HAVE – NO IDEA, WHAT I'VE LOST!"

The cold was driving her crazy.

But for some reason she felt she deserved it.

_

* * *

_

'_Help. Someone… Anyone.'_

_She didn't care for the rain that was now coming down heavily upon her._

_She didn't care for the raging war that she had just dragged him from._

_She only cared for him._

"_Naruto…" Sakura let the tears that she had been holding onto for so long, fall to the ground._

_He looked up at the love of his life,_

"_Sakura… I want you to… Go on without me… Please."  
_

_Sobs racked her body,_

"_N-No.." She whimpered, gently supporting his head. "I can't… Let you go." She forced what was left of her chakra to flow through her fingers, into his worst wounds. She swore furiously when she realised that she would soon be drained of chakra._

_For the moment, she was too scared to look into his eyes, she did not want to see his angry eyes glaring up at her for being so weak. After all, it was her fault that he was this badly injured. _

_She was wrong. He never or would ever hate or detest her._

_He let a small smile grace his lips,_

"_Sakura,"_

_She still did not dare to look at him, she did not want to cry – not now."_

"_Look at me… Please." He begged in a small voice_

_She could hold in no longer and contained her despair for a moment and stroked his blood-stained hair. _

"_Sakura…" He repeated. "I l-love y-.."_

_His eyes suddenly went wide, his last breaths loud and rasping._

"_Naruto?" Sakura's voice became high-pitched and small. "Naruto?"  
_

_He looked as if he was just about to finish his sentence. _

_But he couldn't fight it anymore. _

_He had to let himself to be taken to the next world._

_She watched, powerless to do anything as he smiled sweetly one last time and slipped away. Forever out of her reach._

_

* * *

_

She felt like she did back then.

Being torn apart.

She let the tears flow freely, clutching her head, his last words whirling round and round her thoughts. Every single word felt as if it was stabbing again and again at her. No one really cared – not really. They didn't hear his dying words, they didn't have to watch him fade away. Only she was there, only she knew that true pain.

Her knees sunk into the snow.

_**Even though I'd be sacrificed,  
You won't try for me, not now.  
Though I'd die to know you love me,  
I'm all alone.  
Isn't someone missing me?**_

_**Please, please forgive me,  
But I won't be home again.**_

_**I know what you do to yourself,  
Shudder deep and cry out:**_**  
**_**"isn't something missing?  
Isn't someone missing me? "**_

'I want to see him… I want to be with him again.'

Since that day she had become weaker and weaker. All she ever did was cry. She could see why her friends didn't care anymore… They all seemed to have moved on without her.

But…

No one truly knew the pain she was going through.

The constant agony her heart wad forced to bear with.

'I… Can't take it any more.'

_**And if I bleed, I'll bleed,  
Knowing you don't care.  
And if I sleep just to dream of you  
And wake without you there,  
Isn't something missing?  
Isn't something...**_

She dug her hands into the snow. Gritting her teeth, she picked up handfuls and put them down her flimsy shirt.

'I'll punish myself… I should have saved him… He was everything to me…'

"EVERYTHING!" The snow harshly bit at her skin, repeatedly reminding her of her burden.

She took one of her hands and slapped herself across the face the moment she realized that she had started screaming.

She tugged at her hair, intimidated by the snowflakes dancing all around her…

Taunting her… Mocking Her.

"I've gone mad…" She whispered. "I've actually gone mad Naruto. I'm not safe to be around anyone…"

She wiped her eyes fiercely on her arm and pulled herself up,

"I'm coming, Naruto."

She hoped it would hurt more if she ran to her destination. She looked down at her feet. 'Those shoes… They're just preventing me from getting what I deserve. That's not good. That's not good at all.'

Without another thought, she snatched them of and chucked them as hard as she could.

Barefooted, cold and visibly insane, she began to run. The snow stabbed at her feet, causing them to turn a blue/purple colour.

'I deserve this.' Were the words that kept flashing through her mind as she was running through the streets, past the empty dark houses.

Her speed slowed down as she reached where all her sorrow and pain would end.

The bridge.

So many memories were here.

Kakashi.

Sasuke.

And…

Naruto.

She walked to the railings and clambered up so she was standing on them.

The vast river below had frozen up completely. But below its icy depths, the water was flowing fast.

"This," she dug into her trouser pocket and pulled out a Kunai. "Is an end of an era… **My** era…"  
She took one last breath and cast one final look at her surroundings,

"Goodbye world…" She whispered miserably, aiming for her heart.

The kunai edged closer and closer.

She felt as if the world was rotating in slow motion.

The snowflakes seemed a lot gentler and warming now, they fluttered silently and effortlessly toward the ground, making various patterns. The grey clouds were beginning to part to reveal that brightest full moon that she had ever seen.

Sakura looked down, wondering why she didn't seem to be walking down a bright tunnel yet. She found the answer when she saw that a hand was clasped tightly around her wrist. She hadn't even noticed that someone was even there let alone standing right behind her. Her heart began to pound like crazy.

"And what were you just trying to do?" Said a soft voice near her right ear. She calmed down and shook her head,

"I thought it was…"

The figure behind her nodded his head,

"Say no more."

Sakura turned to find the stranger to be her old sensei – Kakashi. Greyish hair flopped over to one side, for some reason he looked older and more tired. Sakura hadn't noticed before as she was always so self-absorbed nowadays and didn't greet anyone let alone have a full-blown conversation with them.

He prized the kunai away from her hand and placed it in his pocket,

"Tsunade was worried about you."

"So she sent you?"

He chuckled dryly,

"No. I was passing by and a spotted you lying in the snow. Then I followed you here." He paused, his face more somber. "Sakura, you were trying to kill yourself weren't you?"

She said nothing but he could rightly guess her unsaid answer when small tears started to make their way down her pale cheeks. He pulled her inward and listened to her sob heavily for what seemed like an hour.

"Your cold," he removed his green Jounin jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders. There. You should feel but a little warmer now."

She sniffed,

"Only my body. My heart is like pure ice right now-.."

"As was mine when my clan was first killed," proclaimed another voice. Sasuke was leaning on the bridge railing, staring up at the now star-filled sky. "I thought it was completely the end of the world. I always used to wonder why birds were still singing, why people were still talking, why everything still seemed so normal even though I was hopelessly trapped in my little cage of isolation. Thing is though, I overcame that in the end. You and Naruto helped me through my revenge and bitter hatred even though I wasn't exactly number one friend of the year."

"But you were always strong," Sakura pointed out. "Maybe not as emotionally strong as Naruto but defiantly stronger that most – including me."

"You're strong in other ways Sakura. You're strong in being a good friend and looking out for people. You were always so used to looking out for people, you never even looked at yourself once in a while. That's why you're trapped in darkness now Sakura. You don't really know how to help yourself get on with life." Kakashi said.

"You need to carry on," Sasuke let his gaze slip from the sky and land on his team mate. "You know what it's like to loose one close person? I lost a bunch of them."

Sakura blushed and suddenly became interested in winding a little lock of hair around her finger. She couldn't imagine what pain and agony Sasuke went through. And he was so young too.

"I'm selfish… I'm sorry." She murmured.

"Hey, no need to be," Kakashi smiled cheerily. "Just promise us that you'll go back to being the old you. Naruto won't mind, he'll simply just be watching over you. That's all."

"Kakashi, you sound like a little girl… Or is it a phrase from one of your sappy porno books?" Sasuke commented as the two men began to escort the girl home.

Kakashi ignored him. "Look the snow had stopped." Indeed it had, the cloud had cleared up and was replaced by millions of stars. Sakura smiled to herself, remembering all the good times that she shared with her beloved.

She knew that somewhere, he was looking down on her. And that she would see him again.

In the next life.

She lived.

Because she was needed.

She lived.

Because her heart was mending.

She lived.

Because he could never stop loving her.

**_The End._**


End file.
